You’re god damn right!…and cancel Whitney.
We demand that NBC reverse its crazy decision to cancel Community. The show is the best one on TV and NBC should renew it immediately!
The Twumblog: A retrospective of a half year of tweeting - Volume One
A little over a half year ago, I decided to immerse myself into the world of social media. Having an ill taste for the realm of “the book” (my term for facebook), I turned to Twitter, which seemed the next best outlet. There, I felt I would have a pallet for my comedic stylings, all the while keeping in tune with others. This is a recap of the first 6 months (slightly more).
The Twials and Twibulations
Without whoring one’s self, coming up with a solid base followers can prove quite difficult. Since I have no claim to fame, my follower count has remained low throughout the last semi-annual period. I have had many follow, only to have them dissipate into the virtual ether. I blame either my own unwillingness to give these types the ol’ “follow back”, or that whomever briefly followed me was more of a whatever, taken in the form of a bot. However, I do consider myself fortunate, having developed a somewhat sturdy following of 12. I strongly believe that perhaps 3-5 of those said followers read my posts semi-consistently.
For a guy who hates writing, and always had difficulty satisfying length requirements for grade school essays, I have discovered that I am, ironically, way too wordy for the twitterverse. I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve had to dumb down a tweet, or abandon it altogether, simply because I was unable to convey my thoughts in 140 characters or less.
Brushes with “Fame”
Sadly, nothing “makes my day” more than when one of the “celebrities” I follow reacts to something I wrote, whether it be positive or negative. I have experienced one occasion of each, and enjoyed both thoroughly.
The first of such occasions, was an occurrence of the positive variety involving Michael Ian Black. There was no real interaction between us, simply a retweet. This is what happened.
MIB started the trend of:
#namewhatkindofpornGOPpresidentialcandidatesjerkoffto
My tweet in reply was:
@michaelianblack “Amish Chores” Mike Huckabee #namewhatkindofpornGOPpresidentialcandidatesjerkoffto
Not only did this yield a retweet (+7), but I also managed to pick up a few more followers. MIB has 1,699,000 followers. For him to sift though all the shit, and pick that to spit back out made me smile. It’s my belief that he may have smiled as well, or even laughed.
My negative brush with shame (I mean fame) involved Steve Agee. Steve had posted a You Tube link of a preview for an upcoming documentary focusing on the former front man of the band Morphine. In that preview, was an old MTV news clip featuring Kurt Loder. The interaction went as follows:
ST8PTRLHEDQRTRS bixcut galapagos @steveagee Thanks for bringing this to my attention. BONUS: It reminded me of Kurt Loder’s existence, or as I call him Captain Personality. Aug 15, 5:42 PM via web
steveagee Steve Agee @ST8PTRLHEDQRTRS wow, what an awesome nickname you’ve given my friend, Captain Foot-in-Mouth Aug 15, 5:44 PM via web
Surely anybody who has seen Kurt Loder during his employment with MTV News understands my angle. Steve deleted his response to me within a 24 hour period. Luckily, Twitter gives you the option of having responses sent to your email. I do like Morphine quite a bit, and I did appreciate the notification of the documentary. However, I can’t help but make a jab when able, and well…
Not Too Shabby, Friend -Top 5 Retweets
I have nothing against retweeting someone if I enjoyed what they spat out. Surprisingly, or maybe not, most of them originate from people I am friends with in the physical world. Here are five of my faves, in no particular order:
marielou_b marie barcellos by ST8PTRLHEDQRTRS
Just saw a bum holding an imaginary sign begging for money. The recession has officially hit the mime industry.
billmaher Bill Maher by ST8PTRLHEDQRTRS
Friday 13th - Trump asked if black cats bad luck, said not because they’re black, because they’re socialists who faked their college records.
bogmon bogmon by ST8PTRLHEDQRTRS
Magic Johnson makes Charles Barkley sound like Maya Angelou.
steveagee Steve Agee by ST8PTRLHEDQRTRS
if aliens learn one thing from visiting Earth it’s that humans like to watch other humans fuck.
omeghan Meghan by ST8PTRLHEDQRTRS
Don’t Tread On Me flags outside of a flooring store send a confusing message.
10 of My Best - According to Me
I find that what I think is amusing generally falls out of the mainstream of conventional humor. Some of my worst, low brow tweets will be retweeted, while decent ones seem to go completely unnoticed. Here is what I would deem as 10 of my best …as I see it:
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OMG! I just saw someone in real life rockin’ the Hitler mustache! By rockin’, I mean looking ridiculous, and by someone, I mean douchebag.
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The best, and perhaps only, benefit to facebook, is the birthday reminders. Happy birthday, Mom.
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I think John Stossel should replace Andy Rooney. Opinions aside, that unruly mustache is a lovely compliment to those wicked eyebrows.
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The pope & the catholic church recently reprimanded Berlusconi for inappropriate relations. Apparently it’s an issue when it’s little GIRLS.
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The best actor on the TV show “Whitney” is the studio audience.
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Somebody please inform Brian Williams that weekend is actually one word.
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“He Touches Me With His Eyes” #awfullifetimemovies
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How I Fell on the Doorknob #awfullifetimemovies
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Coming from behind #rejectedKentuckyDerbyhorseNames
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I have yet to meet a Lenny Kravitz fan in person.
